Do You Have Pony Envy?

Confessions of a Timid Rider: I Am Jealous of My Friends with Horses

 

Friends, I’ll be honest with you. I believe I’m a nice person. I try my best to help others and be a good friend. So the fact that I have become green-eye with jealousy is something of which I’m not proud.

 

Every single time one of my barn family gets a new pony or horse, I am so happy for them. Truly. At the same time a part of me dies a little inside of envy. Because I want what they have.

 

I am embarrassed to admit it. Today a friend, a fellow horse lover, reached out to me for advice on buying her first horse. I have never bought a horse but she wanted my opinion on a particular animal because I know her skill and comfort level.

Do You Have Pony Envy?

 

My first reaction was excitement for her. She deserves a horse, she’d treat him well, and this horse would have an amazing life. But my second reaction was envy. Because this also serves as a reminder that I have not yet fulfilled my own dreams of horse ownership.

 

Logically I know that for her full board, lessons, and shoes cost exactly HALF of what I would pay in my area. But it’s a dream we shared together. She’s closer to seeing this dream come true, and I’m still working toward it. Thus, the pit in my stomach.

 

Why is it so important that I own a horse? To me, it has been a lifelong dream. Animals have been a constant in my life for so long, and a huge source of comfort and happiness. I do not go to church. I am not in therapy. Spending time with horses at the barn is what gives me solace.

 

I am blessed that I am able to spend time with animals. But I would like the freedom to work with a horse for years, building a bond, and a level of trust. To have the freedom to do groundwork, or go on a trail, or simply spend some time playing in the paddock.

 

I confessed and told her that I was losing hope that I would ever have my own horse.

 

Have you ever wanted something so badly?

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8 thoughts on “Do You Have Pony Envy?

  1. Being a responsible adult really sucks at times. You will get your horse though Heather!

    1. Thanks Andrea! I try daily not to be a responsible adult but life keeps smacking me in the head. 😉

  2. I totally understand you, I don’t know how I could cope if others managed to buy a horse if I didn’t have one! Hopefully you’ll soon be one step closer!

    1. Thank you! I’m always moving forward toward my goal, but sometimes it’s hard not to feel discouraged.

  3. I’m actually in the same boat. I had a horse briefly and had to give him back because of college loans. Hang in there, we will get our chance sooner than we think.

    1. That’s tough, but adulthood rears its ugly head. Responsibilities, ugh.

  4. Just hang in there! I was full of envy up until the day I bought my boy, soon 2 years ago. I had many friends who weren’t that into horses who actually bought, and it ended up being me riding them because they were bored. And I was constantly wondering why life would give all it’s lemons to me and not to the ones who I believed didn’t deserve it. Owning a horse is the best feeling in the world, it gives me so much security around having my best friend forever. I hope your dreams become reality too.

    1. Your comments are so inspiring! I love seeing you and Baldur together, and am so glad you found your heart horse.

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